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On a sunny afternoon in May 2013, I walked out of my last final exam of my freshman year at TCU. I crammed everything from my dorm room into my Toyota Tacoma and said farewell to my new college friends who were returning to their corners of the country for the summer. I was Mansfield, Texas bound, a quick trip down I-287 from TCU. I drove home with the windows down and the new Justin Timberlake album blasting thinking, “I aced that philosophy final.” (I had not.)
I was looking forward to this summer more than most – I had met a group of queer women and was looking forward to finding a sense of community and being in LGBTQ+ spaces. I started dating one of those women, and she introduced me to her best friend, and the cute girl her best friend was into. That cute girl was Aubre Dean.
I would say meeting Aubre was love at first sight, but as it turns out, Aubre does not remember meeting me (I’m told a few Bud Light Straw-ber-ritas were involved). So we’ll call it love at second sight. But I was dating someone and I thought she was into someone else, so despite all we had in common and the butterflies in my stomach every time she was around, we remained just friends. I spent that summer learning more about LGBTQ+ culture and my own queer identity, having no idea my future wife was by my side experiencing it with me.
When the summer ended, I went back to school newly single and didn’t see much of that group again. Except for Aubre.
As the years went by, Aubre and I had many near misses. We were both at Austin City Limits in 2014, but Aubre had maneuvered her way to the front row of Eminem’s set while I was in the back row. We were both celebrating New Year’s Eve 2015 in downtown Fort Worth, but I was on my way home by the time she texted me to meet her at Whiskey Garden. I later learned that I could get from my parent’s house to Aubre’s in 5 turns. I never thought that moving 1,500 miles away to Syracuse, New York was what would finally bring me and Aubre together.
In September 2016, I was sitting in the library at Syracuse University College of Law reading for my contracts class, bundled up in my favorite Syracuse Law sweatshirt, and begging for a distraction from case law and the drop in temperature. To my pleasant surprise, Aubre was that distraction.
For the next several days, Aubre texted me questions about applying and going to law school. Pretty soon, we weren’t talking about law school anymore (mostly thanks to Aubre who had to gently inform me that she was in fact flirting with me). It didn’t take long for us to plan our first date for when I would be back in Texas for Thanksgiving break.
We both arrived at the movie theater planning to see Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them at 7pm, but when the tickets were sold out we were stuck with the 10pm show. For three hours, Aubre and I sat in the movie theater bar laughing and meeting each other all over again. It was another kind of love at second sight. We had changed a bit since the first time we met, but the butterflies in my stomach fluttered as quickly as ever.
Aubre asked me to be her girlfriend in January 2017, and then to be her wife in August 2022. Saying yes to Aubre has been the easiest decisions of my life, and I can’t wait to say it again on April 6, 2024.
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I came home from my freshman year at Texas A&M with a mix of excitement and nerves. Like most 19-year-olds, I was still figuring life out. There is a running joke that once you know a handful of LGBTQ+ people you can somehow connect yourself to everyone else in the community. Especially in Fort Worth, where the community in the summer of 2013 felt tightknit and underground largely due to the 2009 raid that occurred on the Rainbow Lounge just four years earlier.
Sure enough, it wasn’t long before a couple of friends turned into a group and I met Erika. Though her story is true, that I don’t remember the exact moment I met her, I do remember the second time and decided to send her a message asking her if she wanted to hang out soon. That summer we spent some time together as part of the group but when the summer ended so did a lot of those friendships and I headed back to Aggieland.
Though I tried many, many, times to reconnect with Erika over the years whenever I saw we were in the same area, she was hard to pin down. Little did I know that we were both just on different paths and journeys, growing into two people that would eventually grow together.
Come fall 2016, I was headed into my last semester at Texas A&M and came across Erika’s Bumble profile. So, I sent her a screenshot of her profile along with a “look who I just came across!” text (yes, cringe-worthy, I know). My thought process was it would send a message that I was single and knew she was too but Erika’s response was not flirty so I moved on - for precisely one month.
In September, Syracuse Law came up as a potential school for me and because Erika was already there, I did the naturally suave thing and made my questions about law school a door opener to message her. Again, Erika answered my questions matter-of-factly, not a slight indication that she had romantic interest. At that time, Erika was working morning shifts at the Marriot and I was enjoying the luxury of late mornings for my super senior semester. Eventually our banter became increasingly engaging and my questions about law school an afterthought.
October arrived and Erika forgot, yes, forgot, my birthday. I anticipated a birthday message all day, only to get one on November 1st. Recognizing Erika was oblivious to my affections, II decided to be direct and told her “I am flirting with you.” Turns out Erika needed the direct statement and shortly after, we were making plans for our first date.
Erika came home for Thanksgiving and we had our date. Despite the movie theatre being dingey and the movie itself being sold out, you couldn’t have told me everything wasn’t perfect. I remember sitting across the table at the movie theater bar amazed by Erika. By her wit and humor but mostly by her heart. A lot of life had happened in the three years we had gone our separate ways, but after that night I knew I would never been able to connect to someone the way I just had.
Erika traveled back to Texas for Christmas break and we decided to make things official. There were a lot of questions. How would long distance work? What if I went to a different law school? What if she didn’t come back to Texas ever? Little did we know life has a funny way of working out with a little bit of luck and a lot of determination. In March 2017, it was time for me to visit Syracuse to decide if I wanted to go there myself.
During that visit Erika acted nervous the first day and I thought something was wrong. Little did I know, later that night she would tell me she loved me. She’s spent the last almost 7 years of my life proving it. We’ve been teammates in every sense of the word, in organizations that we have been in, in moot court competitions we’ve done, in career plans, or taking care of our two dogs. In the lows and in the highs of life, she’s my unwavering partner. I’m so excited that we have chosen each other and I look forward to choosing her every day for the rest of my life. I thank God that sometimes, your love story unfolds when you least expect it, even if you need a little help recalling the first chapter.
